« Child Life

How to keep a child connected to a loved one

Offer children comfort during separation by keeping a loved one present through recorded stories or messages, familiar scents, photos, honest conversations, visual countdowns, and regular, predictable times to connect by phone or video.

Record-A-Story

You can purchase a recordable story book at Hallmark store, Barnes and Noble® or Amazon. You can also order them online through amazon.com. This will allow the parent/grandparent to record their voice reading the story so the child will always have their loved ones voice. This is a great keepsake that will last forever. There are several different titles to choose from such as: “I’ll Love You Forever”; “Together at Heart”; “Guess How Much I Miss You”.

Recordable teddy bears

You can go to your local Build-A-Bear® and record a message that you know they’ll want to hear again and again, and you will both feel better about the times you have to spend apart. You can also go to your local Hallmark® store and they have “Until We Hug Again” teddy bears where you can also record your voice.

Take the loved ones perfume and spray it on a blanket or a teddy bear to remind the child of that person.

A child’s sense of smell is the best link back to memories.

Keep pictures around of the loved one for the child to look at.

Also make sure you continue to talk about the loved one and remind the child where they are and when you think they may be home. Using a calendar and having your child cross off the days until the loved one returns can be helpful as well. If you do not know when they will be coming home, it’s okay to say you don’t know.

Set up a special time where the child and loved one can talk on the

phone or facetime.

Make sure it is the same time every day, so the child can predict when they will get to talk to the loved one in the hospital (i.e. every night after dinner or when you get off of the school bus after school).

Set up a time to let the child visit the loved one in the hospital.

It’s okay to have a child come and visit. If you do decide to bring your child here, make sure you prepare them for the visit by showing them pictures of person in the hospital. Explain to them what they look like and what the machines do in the hospital. Ask the child after you show them the picture if they would like to visit. If they don’t want to visit yet, that is okay. They just may need a little more time to process. If they do want to visit, make sure you have someone that is able to leave the room when they are ready to go (the first visit can be a little overwhelming for some children).

Write letters or draw pictures for the loved one to hang up in their room.

Take pictures of the letters and pictures hung up so the child knows the loved one got them. If the child want to bring the picture there themselves, that is okay.

Have the person at the hospital write several little letters or notes.

Assign someone to put one note a day in the mailbox for when the child gets home from school. This may seem like something small, but to a child it could make their whole day.

Start a journal that goes between hospital and the home.

Have the person in the hospital write a message or draw a picture and they can send it home with someone. The child at home can then draw a picture or write back in the journal.

Set up an online blog where you can keep others connected, share news, and receive support.

An online blog is very helpful for the person in the hospital as it takes the burden of having to answer phone calls. Also your child can read this blog (if you feel it is appropriate for the child). Common websites that people use when they are hospitalized frequently are caringbridge.org or carepages.org